Dobry den

First order of business: Holy shit stains I'm sorry for taking forever to update this! We did not get our internet logins until today so I've only been able to get on the net briefly.

Second order of business: Flight. So apparently once you board an airplane that is going to a foreign country English is no longer acceptable. I mean, it is but if you speak English then you're automatically a tool. So as you can imagine I was the biggest freaking tool on the airplane.

There was this foreign couple sitting one seat away from me in the middle and I'm pretty sure they just talked shit about me the entire time... I mean I'm sure they had nothing better to talk about.

I don't know if any of you have experienced this but on the airplane they have camera views that you can watch on your little tv so you can see what's going on in front of the airplane, below it and also see a map of where you are in the flight. That took up some sweet time of mine when I wasn't trying to interpret what the foreigners next to me were saying.

After landing in Copenhagen and waiting for 3 hours and then being punk'd into thinking my plane was boarding and waiting another hour we started to board for real. I showed them my ticket/passport and then walked down these stairs. I should have known that when I was walking down stairs that there would not be an airplane down there waiting but I guess I wasn't really thinking much at all. What I didn't expect you ask? A bus... I did not expect a bus. A paddle boat? Maybe.. But when I saw that bus I just thought to myself "That bus doesn't look like a plane. Am I taking a bus to Prague? Where the shit is this bus taking me?" Of course I boarded it. We took this bus out to the middle of the runway and drove up next to an airplane roughly the same size of this bus only with wings. I was basically sitting on top of the man next to me but I think he enjoyed it. On the plane to Copenhagen, the people had actually heard of the English language but on a puddle jumper to Prague, no effing way..

Third order of business: Fedor. I would just like to say that I went in to this with a mostly open mind. I really did. I was even thinking of conversation topics for Fedor and I when I was traveling for 13 hours so I am not the blame here.
First of all, Fedor tells me that he will be wearing a brown jacket with a poster saying "Yankee". He was not holding that poster though.. So I could tell by his blatant lie that he would only be trouble. I met him and he was creepy looking. He's just a creeper. There is something very dark and mysterious about him that I cannot pin point, nor would I want to. We were walking to the car and he says to me, "You are very boring." I respond with "umm... what?" he then says, "You are very boring.... tired, yes?" Sign number two that Fedor is a wack job. Maybe he got boring and tired mixed up? I don't even really care at this point because I'm so tired.

We get to the parking deck and Fedor doesn't even have money to validate his fucking ticket. After he tells me this he just chuckles and stares at me like "What we do now?" I just want to pick up my suitcase and throw it at him. To a normal person this wouldn't even be a big deal but when you're tired and crabby it was. I had Czech money though from Karina (THANKS!) so I had to pay for it. Sign number three.
We get into his car and he tells me that he has never been to the dorms before so he doesn't know how to get there. At this point, if Fedor would have told me he was going to sell me into sex slavery, I would not have been surprised.

We get to the dorms but he has no idea which dorm I'm in so we travel to 4 different dorms until we get to the right one. We get up to my room and he asks me if I would like to go to his political marketing class with him in the morning because his professor teaches at Bradley. I agreed to go because it would give me something to do but he came up with the GRAND idea to have me stay the night at his house because he would not have a way to contact me in the morning and I did not know how to get to the school on my own. This idea made my heart sink. I just wanted to sleep in a bed and without Fedor but no. His house was an hour outside of Prague in a peasant village. I got there and took a shower but the water smelled like a river filled with dead fish. I had to sleep in his bed and when he offered to change the sheets I said no because I didn't want to wait forever. I got in bed and found a bottle of lube under his pillow. I immediately regretted not having him change his sheets.

We wake up at 730 am and leave for class around 8 and get there at 9. I got like 5 hours of sleep so I was probably a ball of fun. Class was good and Fedor and I just ran some small errands and then he dropped me off at the dorms and I said PEACE OUT and haven't replied to any of his communication attempts. I did receive this text from him "Hey Sam, not bored? Your aunt mrs ickes wrote me the message, she havent heard from u. I told her u were bumped by the tram and staying in a hospital ;)" WTF?! That message is a hot mess of casual questions mixed with winky smiley faces and my hospitalization. Another reason to not talk to him ever again.

This was only the first day of Prague and the next post will show how much I have actually enjoyed it!

One more Fedor quote/conversation:
F: "you ever have long hair?"
Me: "in high school my hair was about the same length as yours but my hair doesn't look good long. It's like a muffin."
F: "like Obama?"
Me: (pause) "No...... nothing like that"