A lot of people are looking for their chance to travel the world and experience the things they’ve only read about in books. I am fortunate enough to have been able to study here In Prague for three and a half months while also traveling around different places in Europe and soaking in all that is the world as we know it.
During my stay, I’ve made a lot of good friends, had a lot of laughs, a few tears, a lot of memorable nights, nights I can’t remember, trips to places I loved and trips to places I thought were okay and wiped out my entire bank account. Throughout all of this, I learned something that cannot be taught, purchased or traveled to. I learned that there is no trip that you can go on that makes you forget about the ones who have been there for you even when you’re thousands of miles away.
I’m lucky to have a little dysfunctional family here that can momentarily distract me from the nagging feeling of sadness that comes along with missing birthdays, holidays and moments when friends and family needed me the most, but the feeling is still there. At the same time, I am so happy to have the kind of people in my life who are worth missing.
Countless times I found myself picking up my phone to call my mom about something I deemed important or wanting to text my friends or siblings to see what they’re doing later. It’s times like these when I look back and think of the things I take for granted. Hugs from mom and dad are so readily available at home; grandma and grandpa live 10 minutes away and my aunts and uncle are always more than willing to let me come over.
This has been one of the greatest experiences of my life so far. I will cherish the friendships and the memories I’ve made and also appreciate the friends, family and memories I already had.
I would like to thank you all for traveling around with me via my blog. It’s been a pleasure.
Europe has my money, but home has my heart.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Europe on a budget?
After a semester of chipping teeth, losing iPods, getting tickets, volcanoes erupting, breaking phones, traveling every weekend and eating like a horse, it only makes sense that I give you future and/or current travelers some pointers on how to make your trip a success without breaking the bank.
As I approach the end of my trip there are several things going through my mind. One of the things I'm thinking about is my lack of funds. I am going to Barcelona for the last five days of my trip and I'm trying to figure out ways I can afford to eat while I'm there. With this thought, I am taken back to my first month here in Europe and I wonder what I could have done differently to save some pennies or Benjamin's...
Here is my advice in no particular order:
Unlike me, you should actually set a budget before you leave. I decided to leave with enough money in my account to last me for what I thought would be forever and not check it for almost a month after I got here. Bad move. It’s better to actually check your bank statements online about once a week so you don’t literally shit your pants when you see $1,000 gone. There went another $26 for laundry….
It might be helpful to research online how much money (on average) people spend in the country or town you’ll be traveling in and try to stick to that as best as you can. Any money left over can be used for souvenirs or another trip!
Don’t be stupid. A mistake I am all too familiar with over here (and back home). Ice is slippery (broken tooth $250), cheap phones aren’t very durable ($25), validate your tram tickets ($40 violation if you don’t), random strangers are not trustworthy so don’t leave your valuables in your coat pockets (RIPiPod $200), weekend excursions are expensive and they add up, when your stomach tells your brain that it’s hungry, stop and think if two snicker bars before dinner is REALLY worth it or if you can wait.
Never trust the weather man. Sunny skies and 65 degrees? Sounds great! The chances of that actually happening are not 100% so keep that in mind. It’s always a good idea to bring an umbrella with you and don’t go on trips if you don’t have extra money for unpredictable problems (i.e. volcanoes erupting).
It’s a good idea to plan your trip on a budget so you don’t come home broke but don’t be unrealistic. Try to give yourself enough money to be comfortable. It’s no fun to be pinching pennies when you’re in a foreign country while you’re trying to make the most of it.
Most importantly, soak it in. Don’t’ try to pack too many things into your trip because you’ll be rushed and annoyed. Fun stories can come out of losing things, getting your plans changed by a natural disaster or wandering around with your friends.
School: $3,300
Trips: $2,500
Lost/stolen/damaged/fined: $600
Souvenirs: $500
Making friends and having a time you’ll never forget: Priceless
As I approach the end of my trip there are several things going through my mind. One of the things I'm thinking about is my lack of funds. I am going to Barcelona for the last five days of my trip and I'm trying to figure out ways I can afford to eat while I'm there. With this thought, I am taken back to my first month here in Europe and I wonder what I could have done differently to save some pennies or Benjamin's...
Here is my advice in no particular order:
Unlike me, you should actually set a budget before you leave. I decided to leave with enough money in my account to last me for what I thought would be forever and not check it for almost a month after I got here. Bad move. It’s better to actually check your bank statements online about once a week so you don’t literally shit your pants when you see $1,000 gone. There went another $26 for laundry….
It might be helpful to research online how much money (on average) people spend in the country or town you’ll be traveling in and try to stick to that as best as you can. Any money left over can be used for souvenirs or another trip!
Don’t be stupid. A mistake I am all too familiar with over here (and back home). Ice is slippery (broken tooth $250), cheap phones aren’t very durable ($25), validate your tram tickets ($40 violation if you don’t), random strangers are not trustworthy so don’t leave your valuables in your coat pockets (RIPiPod $200), weekend excursions are expensive and they add up, when your stomach tells your brain that it’s hungry, stop and think if two snicker bars before dinner is REALLY worth it or if you can wait.
Never trust the weather man. Sunny skies and 65 degrees? Sounds great! The chances of that actually happening are not 100% so keep that in mind. It’s always a good idea to bring an umbrella with you and don’t go on trips if you don’t have extra money for unpredictable problems (i.e. volcanoes erupting).
It’s a good idea to plan your trip on a budget so you don’t come home broke but don’t be unrealistic. Try to give yourself enough money to be comfortable. It’s no fun to be pinching pennies when you’re in a foreign country while you’re trying to make the most of it.
Most importantly, soak it in. Don’t’ try to pack too many things into your trip because you’ll be rushed and annoyed. Fun stories can come out of losing things, getting your plans changed by a natural disaster or wandering around with your friends.
School: $3,300
Trips: $2,500
Lost/stolen/damaged/fined: $600
Souvenirs: $500
Making friends and having a time you’ll never forget: Priceless
Monday, April 26, 2010
Volcanic ash and trailer trash
Most importantly – can anyone update me on the Jolie-Pitts? What about Taylor Swift? Miley Cyrus? I don’t even know the names of any other celebrities I’m that far out of the loop. I’d even settle for Billy Mays but he died…. Too soon?
I haven’t read a tabloid since the last Bush was in office and it’s just been too long! All of this grown up news is getting to me. Sure the War in Iraq is worth mentioning but what about Britney? Somebody’s got to look out for her.
Something that I do know about is volcanoes. The Eyjafjallajokull (yes that’s a word and don’t even bother trying to pronounce it) volcano to be exact. Except I don’t really know anything about it. Just that it erupted stuff called lava and lava is really hot and you can’t touch it even though it looks soft. Ash also came out of this volcano and don’t you dare think you can fly a plane through the ash because I already asked and they said no.
The most traumatizing part of this whole volcano situation isn’t that our flight was canceled or that we had to pay hundreds of dollars in unwanted train tickets and hostel stays or that we missed a few days of our spring break trip. It’s the part about my Icelandic friend, Raven, that really breaks my heart.
We can’t be friends. It’s as simple as that. As soon as I saw that our flight was canceled and that we had already taken a four hour bus ride into Slovakia to catch our plane I didn’t think about anything else except for “It’s over for Raven and I.”
Sure we weren’t that close. In fact, I don’t even think she knows my name and I sure as hell can’t pronounce her real name. She just told us her name was Raven because our tiny American minds couldn’t even understand she was saying a word when she told us her name. It actually might have been Eyjafjallajokull now that I think about it…. I’m just upset that I lost a friend.
Maybe I’m a little bitter but I’m a boy on a budget and all of these set backs in Slovakia and Austria weren’t cheap!
Let me just tell you that Bratislava, Slovakia is pretty… But not pretty enough for me to want to spend any extended amount of time there. Austria is gorgeous but I had already been to Vienna and that’s where we ended up staying for two nights.
I’m at the point in my trip where if my friends make me take another walking tour I’ll scream. I might even have a mental breakdown but that might be pushing it. I’m just over it. Three and a half hours of history lessons is what it comes down to and don’t get me wrong I LOVE hearing about history and statues and all that cra—stuff, but not all at once… I’m not a voice recorder! I can’t remember all of this information!
Moving on.
Bratislava and Vienna were nice. Chad and Michelle were frantically trying to figure out how and when we would get to our final destination of Italy for most of the time while I just sat there uselessly (Michelle’s words) and pretended to be interested in train times and hostel options.
We finally got to Florence after a 12.5 hour train/bus trip. It was beautiful. I just love Italy I think. Florence is smaller than Rome and there was more country surrounding it so that was gorgeous as well.
After Florence we went to Cinque Terre which is an area on the coast of Italy consisting of five small towns on these cliffs which are SO cool! If you’re ever in Italy you should definitely make your way there. It’s worth the cheap and short train ride. Pictures didn’t do it much justice but I’ll see if I can do it with words. It’s pretty…. Did that help?
We stayed in the first town called Riomaggiore. Since these towns are all on cliffs you can imagine the hiking we had to do. Side note: sweaty flip flops are not helpful while climbing up hills. Just a warning.
There are hiking trails you can go on that scale the sides of the cliffs and go through each city which we went on. The first trail is really easy but they get more difficult as you go on. I was prepared with my hiking shoes, jacket and umbrella because it was raining. My friends were not so lucky.
I had a great time though. Even with the rain and the clouds, the towns and the hills were breathtaking. I’d definitely go back.
On our way to Pisa we stopped in this small town called Lucca. It’s surrounded by a wall so that’s what makes it a tourist destination. That’s all there is to Lucca.
On to Pisa!
I let Chad and Michelle borrow one of the rolly suitcases I brought with on this trip so they could check it on our flight. Well as you know we didn’t have a flight but we still had the rolly suitcase. Fun fact: rolly suitcases don’t roll so well when their wheels break. Oh yeah, rolly suitcase don’t roll no mo. This became a problem immediately. Chad and I took turns carrying that *#&#* #%$%@ suitcase all around Pisa and 30 pounds isn’t light. It’s actually kind of heavy.
We made it to our hostel which was actually a TRAILER PARK! Yayyyyy! Trailers kill me! Especially when they’re in parks. This was just a stepping stone on my quest to becoming actual trailer trash. The trailer was nice though. As nice as a trailer can get I suppose.
There wasn’t much to Pisa either except for that leaning tower. Apparently it leans an extra 1 meter each year because of tourists. I wonder if they’ll ever fix it or just let it topple over. I guess we’ll see? In an attempt to correct this problem, I took a picture of me holding UP the tower instead of pushing it over. You’re welcome, Pisa.
Why are mountains snowy on top if they’re closer to the sun?
I haven’t read a tabloid since the last Bush was in office and it’s just been too long! All of this grown up news is getting to me. Sure the War in Iraq is worth mentioning but what about Britney? Somebody’s got to look out for her.
Something that I do know about is volcanoes. The Eyjafjallajokull (yes that’s a word and don’t even bother trying to pronounce it) volcano to be exact. Except I don’t really know anything about it. Just that it erupted stuff called lava and lava is really hot and you can’t touch it even though it looks soft. Ash also came out of this volcano and don’t you dare think you can fly a plane through the ash because I already asked and they said no.
The most traumatizing part of this whole volcano situation isn’t that our flight was canceled or that we had to pay hundreds of dollars in unwanted train tickets and hostel stays or that we missed a few days of our spring break trip. It’s the part about my Icelandic friend, Raven, that really breaks my heart.
We can’t be friends. It’s as simple as that. As soon as I saw that our flight was canceled and that we had already taken a four hour bus ride into Slovakia to catch our plane I didn’t think about anything else except for “It’s over for Raven and I.”
Sure we weren’t that close. In fact, I don’t even think she knows my name and I sure as hell can’t pronounce her real name. She just told us her name was Raven because our tiny American minds couldn’t even understand she was saying a word when she told us her name. It actually might have been Eyjafjallajokull now that I think about it…. I’m just upset that I lost a friend.
Maybe I’m a little bitter but I’m a boy on a budget and all of these set backs in Slovakia and Austria weren’t cheap!
Let me just tell you that Bratislava, Slovakia is pretty… But not pretty enough for me to want to spend any extended amount of time there. Austria is gorgeous but I had already been to Vienna and that’s where we ended up staying for two nights.
I’m at the point in my trip where if my friends make me take another walking tour I’ll scream. I might even have a mental breakdown but that might be pushing it. I’m just over it. Three and a half hours of history lessons is what it comes down to and don’t get me wrong I LOVE hearing about history and statues and all that cra—stuff, but not all at once… I’m not a voice recorder! I can’t remember all of this information!
Moving on.
Bratislava and Vienna were nice. Chad and Michelle were frantically trying to figure out how and when we would get to our final destination of Italy for most of the time while I just sat there uselessly (Michelle’s words) and pretended to be interested in train times and hostel options.
We finally got to Florence after a 12.5 hour train/bus trip. It was beautiful. I just love Italy I think. Florence is smaller than Rome and there was more country surrounding it so that was gorgeous as well.
After Florence we went to Cinque Terre which is an area on the coast of Italy consisting of five small towns on these cliffs which are SO cool! If you’re ever in Italy you should definitely make your way there. It’s worth the cheap and short train ride. Pictures didn’t do it much justice but I’ll see if I can do it with words. It’s pretty…. Did that help?
We stayed in the first town called Riomaggiore. Since these towns are all on cliffs you can imagine the hiking we had to do. Side note: sweaty flip flops are not helpful while climbing up hills. Just a warning.
There are hiking trails you can go on that scale the sides of the cliffs and go through each city which we went on. The first trail is really easy but they get more difficult as you go on. I was prepared with my hiking shoes, jacket and umbrella because it was raining. My friends were not so lucky.
I had a great time though. Even with the rain and the clouds, the towns and the hills were breathtaking. I’d definitely go back.
On our way to Pisa we stopped in this small town called Lucca. It’s surrounded by a wall so that’s what makes it a tourist destination. That’s all there is to Lucca.
On to Pisa!
I let Chad and Michelle borrow one of the rolly suitcases I brought with on this trip so they could check it on our flight. Well as you know we didn’t have a flight but we still had the rolly suitcase. Fun fact: rolly suitcases don’t roll so well when their wheels break. Oh yeah, rolly suitcase don’t roll no mo. This became a problem immediately. Chad and I took turns carrying that *#&#* #%$%@ suitcase all around Pisa and 30 pounds isn’t light. It’s actually kind of heavy.
We made it to our hostel which was actually a TRAILER PARK! Yayyyyy! Trailers kill me! Especially when they’re in parks. This was just a stepping stone on my quest to becoming actual trailer trash. The trailer was nice though. As nice as a trailer can get I suppose.
There wasn’t much to Pisa either except for that leaning tower. Apparently it leans an extra 1 meter each year because of tourists. I wonder if they’ll ever fix it or just let it topple over. I guess we’ll see? In an attempt to correct this problem, I took a picture of me holding UP the tower instead of pushing it over. You’re welcome, Pisa.
Why are mountains snowy on top if they’re closer to the sun?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The Secret
So today in my marketing class we watched a movie called "The Secret." I don't know if you've ever heard of it but it's a movie about how you control your happiness and everything that happens to you by your attitude and outlook on life because the universe can sense it and blah, blah, blah. Well it's a load of bull because I was all set for happiness while watching that movie. I was telling myself "Yeah, you know what they're right! I can control this!"
The movie ended and so did class which made me even happier. And then.... I lost in solitare. Not ideal but I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. After losing 123 times in solitare, I decided to stop/quit. A little quitting here and there never hurt anybody, right?
My next class had began and it bored me to tears but it was over before I could say, "Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän." (that's the longest word in German, ps). Michelle and I went back to the dorms and tried to print off our itineraries but they treat the computer labs like FBI headquarters and you can't get in without passing a background check and a physical fitness test. I didn't have time for either of those so we didn't get anything printed off.
I started to walk back to my room when I realized I didn't have my key. My teacher said that the movie we watched could change my life if I let it. I thought he meant for the better! Damn... That's the last time I ever pay attention in class!
I thought it would just be easier to kick my door down instead of playing translator downstairs at the front desk but I LUCKILY got the only man who speaks English to help me! My luck doesn't make sense since I was being negative the entire time... Clue number 436 that the movie I watched is a hoax. We opened my door and I was all set. I only had to promise to give him my first born (sucks for him).
I had to do laundry today so once I got back into my room I packed all of my nasty clothes into my suitcase and since ALL of the washers at my dorm are broken and since there are no dryers there at all, I decided to go to the laundromat with Michelle. I had a lot of laundry. I figured I'd use 2 washers and 2 dryers because people had told me how the dryers don't always get their clothes dry at this place. What I didn't realize was that there are 2 different sizes of washers and dryers. I, of course, asked for 2 large washers and 2 large dryers. I guess I thought I had a family of 15 that had just spent the day outside in the mud... $26.00 later, here I am. Broke and ashamed that I paid that much for clean laundry. I don't even like half of my clothes! I could have bought a whole new wardrobe for $26.00. Ah, the perks of being a foreigner (cizinec).
I'll keep you posted on how the rest of my day goes. At least this laundromat has wireless and I haven't been mugged even a little bit so that's nice. I should have asked for a medium washer and dryer. Do you think they have those? It doesn't make sense that they go from small to large like that. Why's the universe so secretive?
The movie ended and so did class which made me even happier. And then.... I lost in solitare. Not ideal but I wasn't going to let it ruin my day. After losing 123 times in solitare, I decided to stop/quit. A little quitting here and there never hurt anybody, right?
My next class had began and it bored me to tears but it was over before I could say, "Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän." (that's the longest word in German, ps). Michelle and I went back to the dorms and tried to print off our itineraries but they treat the computer labs like FBI headquarters and you can't get in without passing a background check and a physical fitness test. I didn't have time for either of those so we didn't get anything printed off.
I started to walk back to my room when I realized I didn't have my key. My teacher said that the movie we watched could change my life if I let it. I thought he meant for the better! Damn... That's the last time I ever pay attention in class!
I thought it would just be easier to kick my door down instead of playing translator downstairs at the front desk but I LUCKILY got the only man who speaks English to help me! My luck doesn't make sense since I was being negative the entire time... Clue number 436 that the movie I watched is a hoax. We opened my door and I was all set. I only had to promise to give him my first born (sucks for him).
I had to do laundry today so once I got back into my room I packed all of my nasty clothes into my suitcase and since ALL of the washers at my dorm are broken and since there are no dryers there at all, I decided to go to the laundromat with Michelle. I had a lot of laundry. I figured I'd use 2 washers and 2 dryers because people had told me how the dryers don't always get their clothes dry at this place. What I didn't realize was that there are 2 different sizes of washers and dryers. I, of course, asked for 2 large washers and 2 large dryers. I guess I thought I had a family of 15 that had just spent the day outside in the mud... $26.00 later, here I am. Broke and ashamed that I paid that much for clean laundry. I don't even like half of my clothes! I could have bought a whole new wardrobe for $26.00. Ah, the perks of being a foreigner (cizinec).
I'll keep you posted on how the rest of my day goes. At least this laundromat has wireless and I haven't been mugged even a little bit so that's nice. I should have asked for a medium washer and dryer. Do you think they have those? It doesn't make sense that they go from small to large like that. Why's the universe so secretive?
Monday, March 29, 2010
Burning bridges and taking names... Right?
Wow, it's been a while... How've you been? I know, I know. You feel ignored don't you? Well I'm sorry and I feel just horrible about it. I have a shi.... a lot to update you on. I honestly don't even know where to begin but I'll just pick something.
Fedor deleted me off of facebook. Can you believe that? Obviously I feel like he didn't give me a chance. I mean come on... I was the one who called him all the time, I was the one who searched him out at nation to nation parties and asked him to meet my friends, I was the one who invited him over to my house to spend the night and I was the one who sent him messages on facebook begging him to be my friend. Did I do something wrong? Was I too clingy? I guess I'll never know...
I should let you all know that I get deleted off of facebook all the time. It's almost sad that I know when I've been deleted but I do. I'll be creepin' on facebook when I try to creep on someone who I know I was friends with when I realize that I am unable to view their profile because we are no longer "friends"... Hmmm... Why you gotta delete our friendship like that huh? Did those months of imaginary friendship mean nothing to you? Some people are so inconsiderate!
I can only hope I see Fedor everywhere now. Oh yeah, I will, without a doubt, smother him with kindness. I might start carrying around freshly baked muffins with me just in case I run into him.
Moving on... Sort of..... Eventually..
I just got back from Berlin yesterday. I had a good time! The weather on Friday was great... Just gweat! It was sunny and 60 something degrees which is perfect weather for getting lost... Too bad we didn't really get lost.
We had made reservations at the Golden Heart Hostel or something like that... I can't really remember but it had the word "golden" in it and it was a hostel so I think that word was in it too.. We ran into a minor problem.
We went inside to check in when the lady behind the counter directed us to another hostel down the street because they were overbooked and could not hold us. Of course I had no idea what was going on because Michelle and I were straggling behind everyone like small children who needed to be leashed. When I got a vague overview of what was going on I still didn't understand so I continued to listen to Michelle's iPod with her.
We get to the other hostel and it's....... A shitbox. It's times like this when I wondered if I could catch an STD by breathing the air. My previous pleasant demeanor did a 180 and I was Pissy Mchateshislife and I made sure everyone knew it. After hiking up Mount Everest aka the 5 or 6 or 7 (I lost count) flights of steps up to the office of the "Helter Skelter Hostel" (Yeah, I remembered THAT name... It's pretty memorable) where the man behind the counter was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt with sleeve tattoos on each arm and he was smoking a cigarette laced with crack.
We, and by we I mean Ann, talked to the man and figured out that the Golden Liar Hostel owns this dump too and they send over their overbooked suckers to... Helter Skelter. Great! We paid and gave them enough information for them to have all of our identities stolen and then went out to eat lunch because our room wasn't ready yet. I assumed the 2 day old dead body had not been thrown out yet but I wasn't being fair.
They had told Ann that we would be getting an apartment since we got screwed over by our original hostel. I didn't really care. I was sitting with everyone in silence thinking about how mad I was and what was going to happen to us in that hostel. In an attempt to be positive, I shared with them the worst possible scenarios that could happen to us. 1: we get bed bugs. A couple of bites never hurt anyone that badly. 2: We catch crabs. No biggie. They have those small little combs in Europe, I'm sure of it. 3: Our identities get stolen. I'm broke anyway so the joke is on them. 4: ...... we get sold to the highest bidder. Not ideal but Liam Neeson happens to be a good friend of mine. 5: We die. Worst case scenario. I was so sure of myself that I offered to do anything anyone asked me if our apartment was magically not a shit hole. Well....
We hike up Everest again (I'm telling everyone I climbed it), got our key, walked down Everest, went outside (just like in the olden days), climbed K2 and opened the door to our apartment which opened to..... drum roll..... another door! We opened that one AND!!!! It killed me.... The nicest hostel we've stayed in so far. I'm such a baby. There were 9 beds, a full kitchen, a tv, a balcony, 2 bathrooms and nice wood floors. I learned my lesson OKAY!
I'm going to Rome on Thursday. I hope the nuns overbooked me there and I get to sleep in the Vatican. I'm sure I'd have a blast! I hope they don't find out I'm not Catholic among other things. I think we all know I am going to need to update my blog while I'm sweating my ass off staying with those nuns... God be with me.
Fedor deleted me off of facebook. Can you believe that? Obviously I feel like he didn't give me a chance. I mean come on... I was the one who called him all the time, I was the one who searched him out at nation to nation parties and asked him to meet my friends, I was the one who invited him over to my house to spend the night and I was the one who sent him messages on facebook begging him to be my friend. Did I do something wrong? Was I too clingy? I guess I'll never know...
I should let you all know that I get deleted off of facebook all the time. It's almost sad that I know when I've been deleted but I do. I'll be creepin' on facebook when I try to creep on someone who I know I was friends with when I realize that I am unable to view their profile because we are no longer "friends"... Hmmm... Why you gotta delete our friendship like that huh? Did those months of imaginary friendship mean nothing to you? Some people are so inconsiderate!
I can only hope I see Fedor everywhere now. Oh yeah, I will, without a doubt, smother him with kindness. I might start carrying around freshly baked muffins with me just in case I run into him.
Moving on... Sort of..... Eventually..
I just got back from Berlin yesterday. I had a good time! The weather on Friday was great... Just gweat! It was sunny and 60 something degrees which is perfect weather for getting lost... Too bad we didn't really get lost.
We had made reservations at the Golden Heart Hostel or something like that... I can't really remember but it had the word "golden" in it and it was a hostel so I think that word was in it too.. We ran into a minor problem.
We went inside to check in when the lady behind the counter directed us to another hostel down the street because they were overbooked and could not hold us. Of course I had no idea what was going on because Michelle and I were straggling behind everyone like small children who needed to be leashed. When I got a vague overview of what was going on I still didn't understand so I continued to listen to Michelle's iPod with her.
We get to the other hostel and it's....... A shitbox. It's times like this when I wondered if I could catch an STD by breathing the air. My previous pleasant demeanor did a 180 and I was Pissy Mchateshislife and I made sure everyone knew it. After hiking up Mount Everest aka the 5 or 6 or 7 (I lost count) flights of steps up to the office of the "Helter Skelter Hostel" (Yeah, I remembered THAT name... It's pretty memorable) where the man behind the counter was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt with sleeve tattoos on each arm and he was smoking a cigarette laced with crack.
We, and by we I mean Ann, talked to the man and figured out that the Golden Liar Hostel owns this dump too and they send over their overbooked suckers to... Helter Skelter. Great! We paid and gave them enough information for them to have all of our identities stolen and then went out to eat lunch because our room wasn't ready yet. I assumed the 2 day old dead body had not been thrown out yet but I wasn't being fair.
They had told Ann that we would be getting an apartment since we got screwed over by our original hostel. I didn't really care. I was sitting with everyone in silence thinking about how mad I was and what was going to happen to us in that hostel. In an attempt to be positive, I shared with them the worst possible scenarios that could happen to us. 1: we get bed bugs. A couple of bites never hurt anyone that badly. 2: We catch crabs. No biggie. They have those small little combs in Europe, I'm sure of it. 3: Our identities get stolen. I'm broke anyway so the joke is on them. 4: ...... we get sold to the highest bidder. Not ideal but Liam Neeson happens to be a good friend of mine. 5: We die. Worst case scenario. I was so sure of myself that I offered to do anything anyone asked me if our apartment was magically not a shit hole. Well....
We hike up Everest again (I'm telling everyone I climbed it), got our key, walked down Everest, went outside (just like in the olden days), climbed K2 and opened the door to our apartment which opened to..... drum roll..... another door! We opened that one AND!!!! It killed me.... The nicest hostel we've stayed in so far. I'm such a baby. There were 9 beds, a full kitchen, a tv, a balcony, 2 bathrooms and nice wood floors. I learned my lesson OKAY!
I'm going to Rome on Thursday. I hope the nuns overbooked me there and I get to sleep in the Vatican. I'm sure I'd have a blast! I hope they don't find out I'm not Catholic among other things. I think we all know I am going to need to update my blog while I'm sweating my ass off staying with those nuns... God be with me.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Did you eat a sandwich earlier?
Last weekend I went on a.... We'll call it a juice crawl, for the sake of my future, with my friends. We thought it would be a fun little touristy night out in Prague so we did it. At the first juice stand, we were all sitting there having a good time when I was bombarded with...... You'll never guess... Puke. Yep, I was puked on. The person was actually one of my good friends here who I will refer to as "Sly Eagle."
I don't know if you have ever experienced such a feeling or such a smell but it was definitely one for the books... Or for the blogs. Whichever.
Once I figured out what the liquid that was covering the entire right side of my head, including my face was, I ran to the bathroom. I probably looked like how Carrie from the movie "Carrie" looked when she got pig's blood thrown on her only I wasn't going to kill everyone.
Sly Eagle felt horrible. She apologized a million times after I got back from washing my head with hand soap and scrubbing the vomit out of my jeans. I asked her if she ate a sandwich earlier, she said, "Yeah." It didn't smell bad. I was sort of hungry after. When the waiter at the juice stand came over and asked where the girl who threw up went, Sly Eagle told them that she left. Good move, Sly Eagle. Man, you ARE sly!
Being thrown up on kind of ruined my juice crawl mood so Michelle and I decided to leave early. Michelle and I are an interesting duo. We take almost nothing seriously which can be good and bad at the same time. It also makes for good stories.
We all bought cheap prepaid cellphones for our stay here. They came with a little light that you could switch on and it's called a torchlight. We think they're hilarious and use them at really random, unnecessary times. So Michelle and I are waiting for the tram when the sketchy young man who helped us earlier asks us if we have a light. Meaning cigarette lighter. Michelle says, "I have a torchlight!" and immediately whips out her cellphone and turns on her torchlight while flashing the light onto the young man. Sketchy young man says, "Oh... but that won't light a cigarette though." Michelle says, "Oh, absolutely not."
The sketchy young man started to ask us about why we're in Prague and I immediately think, "He's going to steal us and sell us to the highest bidder. Shit." I guess that wasn't a scary enough thought for me to make Michelle stop telling him our life stories. She told him about how we go to the University of Economics, Prague, she told him how we just have to take the tram to Strazni (where our dorms are), she told him the name of our dorms, she just kept going. When she told him where our dorms were he said, "Seriously?! That's right by my house!" At that point, I was sure I was going to die or at least have a Dateline special dedicated to my sex slavery survival. He got on the tram with us and thankfully got off a few stops before us. Close call.
I mentioned earlier that Michelle and I contribute nothing to our group of friends in the way of transportation or trip planning. So one night Michelle and I were sitting there while our two other friends planned what we are going to do while we're in Dublin. We came up with the brilliant idea that we would plan our next trip! Yeah, and we would do a damn good job. Where are we going? "IRAQ!" Michelle proclaimed. "GREAT IDEA!" I said. Who wouldn't want to go there? I hear it's beautiful in the spring. We then started to think of how long we would last in Iraq. I guessed maybe 45 seconds if we played our cards right. We'd make it about 3 steps off the plane labeled "Al Qaeda Air" (Michelle's words) and be picked off like deer in a meadow. I started to research flights and there are absolutely no flights in April. No idea why. But in May, I could go to Baghdad for $1,564.67, indirect. I'll have to see if it's in my budget.
"Pack your bags! The group is goin' to Iraq!" - Michelle
I don't know if you have ever experienced such a feeling or such a smell but it was definitely one for the books... Or for the blogs. Whichever.
Once I figured out what the liquid that was covering the entire right side of my head, including my face was, I ran to the bathroom. I probably looked like how Carrie from the movie "Carrie" looked when she got pig's blood thrown on her only I wasn't going to kill everyone.
Sly Eagle felt horrible. She apologized a million times after I got back from washing my head with hand soap and scrubbing the vomit out of my jeans. I asked her if she ate a sandwich earlier, she said, "Yeah." It didn't smell bad. I was sort of hungry after. When the waiter at the juice stand came over and asked where the girl who threw up went, Sly Eagle told them that she left. Good move, Sly Eagle. Man, you ARE sly!
Being thrown up on kind of ruined my juice crawl mood so Michelle and I decided to leave early. Michelle and I are an interesting duo. We take almost nothing seriously which can be good and bad at the same time. It also makes for good stories.
We all bought cheap prepaid cellphones for our stay here. They came with a little light that you could switch on and it's called a torchlight. We think they're hilarious and use them at really random, unnecessary times. So Michelle and I are waiting for the tram when the sketchy young man who helped us earlier asks us if we have a light. Meaning cigarette lighter. Michelle says, "I have a torchlight!" and immediately whips out her cellphone and turns on her torchlight while flashing the light onto the young man. Sketchy young man says, "Oh... but that won't light a cigarette though." Michelle says, "Oh, absolutely not."
The sketchy young man started to ask us about why we're in Prague and I immediately think, "He's going to steal us and sell us to the highest bidder. Shit." I guess that wasn't a scary enough thought for me to make Michelle stop telling him our life stories. She told him about how we go to the University of Economics, Prague, she told him how we just have to take the tram to Strazni (where our dorms are), she told him the name of our dorms, she just kept going. When she told him where our dorms were he said, "Seriously?! That's right by my house!" At that point, I was sure I was going to die or at least have a Dateline special dedicated to my sex slavery survival. He got on the tram with us and thankfully got off a few stops before us. Close call.
I mentioned earlier that Michelle and I contribute nothing to our group of friends in the way of transportation or trip planning. So one night Michelle and I were sitting there while our two other friends planned what we are going to do while we're in Dublin. We came up with the brilliant idea that we would plan our next trip! Yeah, and we would do a damn good job. Where are we going? "IRAQ!" Michelle proclaimed. "GREAT IDEA!" I said. Who wouldn't want to go there? I hear it's beautiful in the spring. We then started to think of how long we would last in Iraq. I guessed maybe 45 seconds if we played our cards right. We'd make it about 3 steps off the plane labeled "Al Qaeda Air" (Michelle's words) and be picked off like deer in a meadow. I started to research flights and there are absolutely no flights in April. No idea why. But in May, I could go to Baghdad for $1,564.67, indirect. I'll have to see if it's in my budget.
"Pack your bags! The group is goin' to Iraq!" - Michelle
Luck of the Irish
I am going to Dublin, Ireland this weekend. My plane leaves at 10:25 am Friday morning. I am EXCITED!
Assuming my plane doesn't go down into the Celtic Sea, I am sure I'll have a blast!
You and I both know that I don't have the best luck. So I'm taking bets as to what bad things will happen to me. As always, sex slavery is at the top of my fear list. I have a camera that can be lost/stolen/broken. I also have a passport which is pretty easy to lose. Place your bets.
As for Dublin stuff though, I'm probably most excited to speak English. I am going to speak so much English with a goofy accent attached, they won't know what hit them. Obviously my conversations will be peppered with random Czech words that I know... Just to prove I'm cultured.. My friend Michelle and I find ourselves doing that quite often. "Zub," "Ano," "jsem Sam," "jsem cizinka," etc. I just said, "tooth," "yes," "I am Sam," and "I am a foreigner." If that's not an intellectual conversation then I don't know what is!
Last weekend my friends and I all went out. Michelle and I decided to leave together and of course we got lost. We contribute absolutely nothing in the way of getting our group of friends places. Meaning, we never know where we're going or how to get there. It only makes sense that we left together.
We managed to stalk an American couple and ask them for directions to the tram stop. Yes, we couldn't even get to the correct tram stop on our own. This was after we were waiting for the #14 tram for about 15 minutes only to find out the #14 tram had stopped running for the night 2 hours before we got there. Whoopsies. We got to the tram stop we needed and with the help of a sketchy young man we figured out which tram to take.
While waiting for the tram, Michelle and I decided we were in desperate need for a fried cheese sandwich. Heaven on earth. If I gain 50lbs while I'm here, I can solely blame fried cheese sandwiches... And my lack of self-control. In line for our sammies, we overheard a group of Irish people talking! We could not believe our luck. Irish luck that is. Of course Michelle turns around and tells them about how we're going to Dublin in a week and how we heard their accents and how she would love to hear some insider details. Irish drunk girl #1 response: "Dublin is stupid! Don't go!" Michelle: "Oh awesome! We already bought our tickets sooo too late." Irish drunk girl #2 response: "Unless you have a stack of fifties, Dublin is not fun!" Michelle: "Well I'm broke so I can't wait!" This entire conversation made me giggle. Mainly because the Irish girls were so obnoxious! It made me happy to know that we would be going to a place where their entire population was like that! Oh the joys of not being the most obnoxious people at any given time!
The other thing I am most excited about in Dublin is corned beef and cabbage. Since I will not be eating my grandma's delicious corned beef and cabbage on St. Patty's day this year, I will have to try some authentic Irish food. It better be as good as grammie makes it!
I also have to see a leprechaun and it better have a pot of gold. A leprechaun without a pot of gold is just another little person ginger and those are a dime a dozen. I'm not havin it.
Dublin, watch out. Hurricane Sam is comin' to town!
Assuming my plane doesn't go down into the Celtic Sea, I am sure I'll have a blast!
You and I both know that I don't have the best luck. So I'm taking bets as to what bad things will happen to me. As always, sex slavery is at the top of my fear list. I have a camera that can be lost/stolen/broken. I also have a passport which is pretty easy to lose. Place your bets.
As for Dublin stuff though, I'm probably most excited to speak English. I am going to speak so much English with a goofy accent attached, they won't know what hit them. Obviously my conversations will be peppered with random Czech words that I know... Just to prove I'm cultured.. My friend Michelle and I find ourselves doing that quite often. "Zub," "Ano," "jsem Sam," "jsem cizinka," etc. I just said, "tooth," "yes," "I am Sam," and "I am a foreigner." If that's not an intellectual conversation then I don't know what is!
Last weekend my friends and I all went out. Michelle and I decided to leave together and of course we got lost. We contribute absolutely nothing in the way of getting our group of friends places. Meaning, we never know where we're going or how to get there. It only makes sense that we left together.
We managed to stalk an American couple and ask them for directions to the tram stop. Yes, we couldn't even get to the correct tram stop on our own. This was after we were waiting for the #14 tram for about 15 minutes only to find out the #14 tram had stopped running for the night 2 hours before we got there. Whoopsies. We got to the tram stop we needed and with the help of a sketchy young man we figured out which tram to take.
While waiting for the tram, Michelle and I decided we were in desperate need for a fried cheese sandwich. Heaven on earth. If I gain 50lbs while I'm here, I can solely blame fried cheese sandwiches... And my lack of self-control. In line for our sammies, we overheard a group of Irish people talking! We could not believe our luck. Irish luck that is. Of course Michelle turns around and tells them about how we're going to Dublin in a week and how we heard their accents and how she would love to hear some insider details. Irish drunk girl #1 response: "Dublin is stupid! Don't go!" Michelle: "Oh awesome! We already bought our tickets sooo too late." Irish drunk girl #2 response: "Unless you have a stack of fifties, Dublin is not fun!" Michelle: "Well I'm broke so I can't wait!" This entire conversation made me giggle. Mainly because the Irish girls were so obnoxious! It made me happy to know that we would be going to a place where their entire population was like that! Oh the joys of not being the most obnoxious people at any given time!
The other thing I am most excited about in Dublin is corned beef and cabbage. Since I will not be eating my grandma's delicious corned beef and cabbage on St. Patty's day this year, I will have to try some authentic Irish food. It better be as good as grammie makes it!
I also have to see a leprechaun and it better have a pot of gold. A leprechaun without a pot of gold is just another little person ginger and those are a dime a dozen. I'm not havin it.
Dublin, watch out. Hurricane Sam is comin' to town!
Show me your teeth...
I realized that I never told you about the actual new tooth procedure. So here we go.
I don't know if any of you have ever needed to get a new tooth but I hadn't, so it was a perfectly new and exciting experience. I was actually very excited to get my new tooth or zub (tooth in Czech, pronounced like zoop). You know you have issues when you're running down the halls yelling, "I GET A NEW TOOTH TODAY!" You also know you're white trash. So there I was. An issue-filled, white trash college student.. Getting his new zub.
As I said before, the receptionist at American Dental is an idiot... And I mean that in the most caring way possible. I think she was on novacane when I talked to her. I had to get lost in translation with her for about ten minutes but then I was ready for business or bihness as some might say.
Speaking of novacane. When I was ready to get my new zub, the "doctor" was asking me questions and probably pick pocketing me while we were talking, but when we started to talk about the actual dental work, he asked me, "Would you like medication for pain?" I process what he was asking me which took a few moments and then I respond with, "Yes! Oh yeah!" I didn't realize that pain medication was an option! Those poor smucks who said no. He injected it into my gums with what I hope was a clean needle and then asked if I could feel anything. "OWWW! SON OF A BITCH!" I wanted to yell and then ask for more, but I didn't want to act suspicious.
The procedure was fine... The "doctor" had to use the whitest crown or whatever he used because I "Have very white teeth.." "Aww, shucks, doc!" I wanted to say. He asked me if I had ever bleached my teeth. Two boxes of Crest White Strips later, "Nope, never."
The dental hygienist was in charge of shoving that small vacuum in my mouth to make it absolutely BONE dry but she kept staring out the window... I tried to see what was so damn amusing but I couldn't move my head. I was semi-offended that my amazing pearly whites did not impress her enough to even pay attention.. Whatever, my tooth is fixed.
About a week or two ago I started to notice that my new zub was not the same color as my other teeth. SOB, I thought. I don't know what kind of paint they used for this fake tooth but it's not very good and probably lead. I have a checkup appointment in about a week so I'll see what they can do about it then. But f'real, that tooth cost me $250! It should at least be white. I wouldn't mind if it were whiter than the other teeth, but they had to use the whitest crown/filling/zub they had.
Thanks, Crest!
I don't know if any of you have ever needed to get a new tooth but I hadn't, so it was a perfectly new and exciting experience. I was actually very excited to get my new tooth or zub (tooth in Czech, pronounced like zoop). You know you have issues when you're running down the halls yelling, "I GET A NEW TOOTH TODAY!" You also know you're white trash. So there I was. An issue-filled, white trash college student.. Getting his new zub.
As I said before, the receptionist at American Dental is an idiot... And I mean that in the most caring way possible. I think she was on novacane when I talked to her. I had to get lost in translation with her for about ten minutes but then I was ready for business or bihness as some might say.
Speaking of novacane. When I was ready to get my new zub, the "doctor" was asking me questions and probably pick pocketing me while we were talking, but when we started to talk about the actual dental work, he asked me, "Would you like medication for pain?" I process what he was asking me which took a few moments and then I respond with, "Yes! Oh yeah!" I didn't realize that pain medication was an option! Those poor smucks who said no. He injected it into my gums with what I hope was a clean needle and then asked if I could feel anything. "OWWW! SON OF A BITCH!" I wanted to yell and then ask for more, but I didn't want to act suspicious.
The procedure was fine... The "doctor" had to use the whitest crown or whatever he used because I "Have very white teeth.." "Aww, shucks, doc!" I wanted to say. He asked me if I had ever bleached my teeth. Two boxes of Crest White Strips later, "Nope, never."
The dental hygienist was in charge of shoving that small vacuum in my mouth to make it absolutely BONE dry but she kept staring out the window... I tried to see what was so damn amusing but I couldn't move my head. I was semi-offended that my amazing pearly whites did not impress her enough to even pay attention.. Whatever, my tooth is fixed.
About a week or two ago I started to notice that my new zub was not the same color as my other teeth. SOB, I thought. I don't know what kind of paint they used for this fake tooth but it's not very good and probably lead. I have a checkup appointment in about a week so I'll see what they can do about it then. But f'real, that tooth cost me $250! It should at least be white. I wouldn't mind if it were whiter than the other teeth, but they had to use the whitest crown/filling/zub they had.
Thanks, Crest!
Monday, February 22, 2010
RiPod
Guten Tag!
That means hello in German.. I think.
My friends and I went to Dresden, Germany this weekend. Amazing! The town was beautiful, the people were nice, and the weather was great!
The day started out like any other... With me waking up to a phone call from the damn Czech dentist office (American Dental.. Ironic)... Totally normal. The receptionist was still confused by my insurance because she's..... How do you say in English? An idiot. She's just dumb. I accidentally flashed my health insurance card because I don't have a copy of our dental insurance card and she cannot forget about the insurance card. She was yapping about how my family (aka my mother) kept emailing her the wrong information and blah blah blah. I honestly didn't care at all. I only cared about how it was early in the morning and she was complaining to me about my mom. Back off.
I drifted back off to sleep when the phone rang again. I had set my alarm to go off 30 minutes before we had to leave for the train station and when I looked at the phone, I thought it was the dentist office again so I hit ignore. I drift off again. This time someone is rap tap tapping on my chamber door and I'm rul pissed!
It's my friends Chad and Jon asking me why the hell I'm not down in the lobby with everyone else. Yep, it was 9:35 am. I was supposed to be downstairs at 9:30 am. I'm so confused as to why my alarm clock didn't go off but I refuse to blame myself. It's the SOB dentist office's fault. WHY did they have to call me so early and mess everything up. It honestly doesn't make any sense why it's their fault or why my alarm didn't go off but it's how my life works. What makes things more ironic is the fact that my friend Ann told me to not be late and I joked by saying, "Yeah, because I never have to wait on you guys." Dick move on my part. Sorry, Ann.
We got to the train station on time and boarded the train. We were running up and down this Polar Express trying to find a cabin with no success. However, we did find a crying toddler in a cabin alone. We all stood there in awe. "What do we do? Do we take it? Do we wait for the 'parents' of this child to return and then rip them a new one? Do we babysit?" We didn't know. How you leave a child not old enough to stand up on its own alone is beyond me. Sadly, we had to find our seats.
The 7 of us had to split up. 4 and 3. I was in the group of 4 who joined a quiet young woman who was reading a book. I would have been so scared of the crazy, loud, annoying Americans who invaded my cabin and I think she was too. Didn't say a word and left the cabin before we got to Dresden.
When I was trying to sleep on the train, I had my feet up on the chair and my iPod headphones in. I heard some commotion so I opened my eyes. Two police officers were in the doorway. My favorite. They started speaking to me in German. "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Whenever someone starts speaking to me in a foreign language, I freeze. It don't understand why. I know that "sprechen sie deutsch?" means "do you speak German?" but I just stared at him. He turns to my friend Chris and asks him the same thing. There are a few words exchanged and then the policeman says, "Tell your friend to keep his feet off the seats." Can I mention that the seat looked like someone had gotten diarrhea on it and then rubbed it into the fabric? Cuz that's what it looked like. SORRY, oh German police officer, for resting my foot. I get it though. I should have been more respectful. Maybe next time. I think it's a rule that I must be interrogated by a police officer in every country. At least this time it didn't cost me any money. I was only tased.
We got to our hostel and it was so cool! It had a cool theme to it. I don't know what the theme was exactly but it was cool. Really fun though. It was a theme you would have when you checked into a hotel while on vacation.
That night we decided to go out on the town. I was listening to my iPod while everyone else played cards and when we were ready to leave, I put my iPod in the breast pocket of my coat. Bad idea? Yes.
I don't know when it happened exactly, but someone stole my iPod. I don't think it fell out because it had a grip cover and the pocket is relatively deep and nothing else in my pockets had fallen out (euros and chap stick). I was so upset. Anyone who has ever lost something knows the feeling. My parents bought that for me as a gift. The hard earned money they used to buy me this iPod was gone to waste and it was my fault. You live and you learn. Sorry mom and dad.
But really... I am up to a $40 ticket, a $250 tooth and an iPod Touch. If I'm not cursed, I sure am a dumbass. Now, whenever I go anywhere, I wear a mouth guard and I wear a safe as a backpack. I thought about brass knuckles but I didn't want to overdo it.
Aside from the iPod situation, Dresden was amazing. The sun came out, we took a ton of beautiful pictures, ate authentic German food and had a fantastic time. Go.To.Dresden.
iPod, if you're reading this, I miss you and I want you to come home!
Love,
Sam
That means hello in German.. I think.
My friends and I went to Dresden, Germany this weekend. Amazing! The town was beautiful, the people were nice, and the weather was great!
The day started out like any other... With me waking up to a phone call from the damn Czech dentist office (American Dental.. Ironic)... Totally normal. The receptionist was still confused by my insurance because she's..... How do you say in English? An idiot. She's just dumb. I accidentally flashed my health insurance card because I don't have a copy of our dental insurance card and she cannot forget about the insurance card. She was yapping about how my family (aka my mother) kept emailing her the wrong information and blah blah blah. I honestly didn't care at all. I only cared about how it was early in the morning and she was complaining to me about my mom. Back off.
I drifted back off to sleep when the phone rang again. I had set my alarm to go off 30 minutes before we had to leave for the train station and when I looked at the phone, I thought it was the dentist office again so I hit ignore. I drift off again. This time someone is rap tap tapping on my chamber door and I'm rul pissed!
It's my friends Chad and Jon asking me why the hell I'm not down in the lobby with everyone else. Yep, it was 9:35 am. I was supposed to be downstairs at 9:30 am. I'm so confused as to why my alarm clock didn't go off but I refuse to blame myself. It's the SOB dentist office's fault. WHY did they have to call me so early and mess everything up. It honestly doesn't make any sense why it's their fault or why my alarm didn't go off but it's how my life works. What makes things more ironic is the fact that my friend Ann told me to not be late and I joked by saying, "Yeah, because I never have to wait on you guys." Dick move on my part. Sorry, Ann.
We got to the train station on time and boarded the train. We were running up and down this Polar Express trying to find a cabin with no success. However, we did find a crying toddler in a cabin alone. We all stood there in awe. "What do we do? Do we take it? Do we wait for the 'parents' of this child to return and then rip them a new one? Do we babysit?" We didn't know. How you leave a child not old enough to stand up on its own alone is beyond me. Sadly, we had to find our seats.
The 7 of us had to split up. 4 and 3. I was in the group of 4 who joined a quiet young woman who was reading a book. I would have been so scared of the crazy, loud, annoying Americans who invaded my cabin and I think she was too. Didn't say a word and left the cabin before we got to Dresden.
When I was trying to sleep on the train, I had my feet up on the chair and my iPod headphones in. I heard some commotion so I opened my eyes. Two police officers were in the doorway. My favorite. They started speaking to me in German. "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Whenever someone starts speaking to me in a foreign language, I freeze. It don't understand why. I know that "sprechen sie deutsch?" means "do you speak German?" but I just stared at him. He turns to my friend Chris and asks him the same thing. There are a few words exchanged and then the policeman says, "Tell your friend to keep his feet off the seats." Can I mention that the seat looked like someone had gotten diarrhea on it and then rubbed it into the fabric? Cuz that's what it looked like. SORRY, oh German police officer, for resting my foot. I get it though. I should have been more respectful. Maybe next time. I think it's a rule that I must be interrogated by a police officer in every country. At least this time it didn't cost me any money. I was only tased.
We got to our hostel and it was so cool! It had a cool theme to it. I don't know what the theme was exactly but it was cool. Really fun though. It was a theme you would have when you checked into a hotel while on vacation.
That night we decided to go out on the town. I was listening to my iPod while everyone else played cards and when we were ready to leave, I put my iPod in the breast pocket of my coat. Bad idea? Yes.
I don't know when it happened exactly, but someone stole my iPod. I don't think it fell out because it had a grip cover and the pocket is relatively deep and nothing else in my pockets had fallen out (euros and chap stick). I was so upset. Anyone who has ever lost something knows the feeling. My parents bought that for me as a gift. The hard earned money they used to buy me this iPod was gone to waste and it was my fault. You live and you learn. Sorry mom and dad.
But really... I am up to a $40 ticket, a $250 tooth and an iPod Touch. If I'm not cursed, I sure am a dumbass. Now, whenever I go anywhere, I wear a mouth guard and I wear a safe as a backpack. I thought about brass knuckles but I didn't want to overdo it.
Aside from the iPod situation, Dresden was amazing. The sun came out, we took a ton of beautiful pictures, ate authentic German food and had a fantastic time. Go.To.Dresden.
iPod, if you're reading this, I miss you and I want you to come home!
Love,
Sam
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I'd like to buy a vowel!
"prst"
"krk"
"brzy"
"vlk"
"vlna"
"plný"
Those, my friends, are words. Yeah, believe it or not, I did not just press a bunch of keys on my keyboard. That mess of consonants is actually a collection of words. They even have a meaning! If you would have showed me those a month ago, I would have thought the person typing them had accidentally put their fingers on the wrong keys.
I am taking Elementary Czech. A class that I need to take if I want the language credit for the Global Scholars program. So, like it or not, there is no getting out of taking this class.
"prst" - finger
"krk" - neck
"brzy" - soon
"vlk" - wolf
"vlna" - wool
"plný" - full
Those are the estimated definitions. Just in case you were dying to know. I don't even give a shit. Trying to pronounce those is like putting a sock in your mouth and trying to whistle. Not so easy. I'm telling you, I couldn't BUY a vowel for anything. They're not for sale.
5 minutes after class started on the first day, I knew I hated this class. There is just that "it" factor a class can have that makes you realize that it's not meant to be. Once my teacher stood up in front of the class with her cardigan half buttoned down and then vomitted a sentence that only gremlins could understand, I knew...
Instant panick sets in when my teacher decides to look at the roster and call on people at random! I think to myself "There is no freakin' way I could pronounce 'vllkddmndashlu' even if I wanted to!" Epitome of confidence, I know. If there is one thing that I hate, it's most things. But if I had to pick a top 5, being called on at random would be one of them. If I knew the answer and was confident about it, I would raise my scrawny arm and tell you the answer. That's almost never the case.
As soon as she started picking us off like flies, my palms began to sweat more than usual, which is a ton. My hands were literally dripping sweat. I looked straight down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I tried to not soil myself but then I realized that soiling myself would be a definite reason to leave the classroom... So I tried with no results.
I was able to avoid being called on the entire class period until a few minutes before class ended. She asked, "Is there anyone I have not called on yet?" I look left, I look right, and I slowly raise my hand and with a squeeky voice I say, "Me." I had to pronounce these words: "stul, dum, ukol, utery, domu". Add a few accents in there and you've got some Czech words. They weren't so bad.
Did I mention that this class was 1.5 hours long? Well it is. I don't know if you've tried to play a game called "pretend you're not real" for 1.5 hours but after 5 minutes it gets pretty difficult. I'm only good for short periods.
The other class I had today was.... Wait for it....... Drum roll? 3.5 hours long! There is no way that sitting in a classroom that is well above 75 degrees for 3.5 hours in the late afternoon is condusive to learning. It's not. I have the attention span of a gold fish and a memory to match. Sit me in a class with 4 other equally loopy friends and you've got yourself a show.
The class I'm taking is basically review. I took the class at Bradley but I got a C so I know an average amount of the material. Maybe a good thing I'm taking it again but that doesn't stop me from being bored out of my mind.
The teacher did the typical "what's your name? where are you from? why are you here?" deal but he didn't really call on us during class, which I liked. I thought about lying and saying, "My name's Kitty Kat but you can call me Tiger..." just to spice things up a bit but I didn't have enough time to think of the rest of my lie.
The rest of class crawled by until the final hour when the excitement set in. I had been in class for most of the day and had spent a great deal of time watching the sky turn black right before my eyes.
I raised my hand to answer a few questions and invented a new word on accident. "Foupon". Similar to "Coupon" which I meant to say but I was so tired and still frazzled from pronouncing Czech babble earlier in the day that my mouth said, "Foupon". I thought about ignoring it but you can't really ignore that word. Say it out loud... It's silly. It didn't help that I could hear the pee trickling down my friends' legs and their bodies shaking with laughter. So I had to make fun of myself. It's always the best option. It's always bad when you are trying not to laugh because it's not the time or the place but you honestly can't not laugh. This was how I felt. I was in the middle of answer the professor's damn question so I had to finish it! My face was red from the lack of oxygen and I almost started to wet myself all because of "foupon." What a simple word to pack such a punch.
And I thought Czech was complicated... Try English.
"krk"
"brzy"
"vlk"
"vlna"
"plný"
Those, my friends, are words. Yeah, believe it or not, I did not just press a bunch of keys on my keyboard. That mess of consonants is actually a collection of words. They even have a meaning! If you would have showed me those a month ago, I would have thought the person typing them had accidentally put their fingers on the wrong keys.
I am taking Elementary Czech. A class that I need to take if I want the language credit for the Global Scholars program. So, like it or not, there is no getting out of taking this class.
"prst" - finger
"krk" - neck
"brzy" - soon
"vlk" - wolf
"vlna" - wool
"plný" - full
Those are the estimated definitions. Just in case you were dying to know. I don't even give a shit. Trying to pronounce those is like putting a sock in your mouth and trying to whistle. Not so easy. I'm telling you, I couldn't BUY a vowel for anything. They're not for sale.
5 minutes after class started on the first day, I knew I hated this class. There is just that "it" factor a class can have that makes you realize that it's not meant to be. Once my teacher stood up in front of the class with her cardigan half buttoned down and then vomitted a sentence that only gremlins could understand, I knew...
Instant panick sets in when my teacher decides to look at the roster and call on people at random! I think to myself "There is no freakin' way I could pronounce 'vllkddmndashlu' even if I wanted to!" Epitome of confidence, I know. If there is one thing that I hate, it's most things. But if I had to pick a top 5, being called on at random would be one of them. If I knew the answer and was confident about it, I would raise my scrawny arm and tell you the answer. That's almost never the case.
As soon as she started picking us off like flies, my palms began to sweat more than usual, which is a ton. My hands were literally dripping sweat. I looked straight down, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I tried to not soil myself but then I realized that soiling myself would be a definite reason to leave the classroom... So I tried with no results.
I was able to avoid being called on the entire class period until a few minutes before class ended. She asked, "Is there anyone I have not called on yet?" I look left, I look right, and I slowly raise my hand and with a squeeky voice I say, "Me." I had to pronounce these words: "stul, dum, ukol, utery, domu". Add a few accents in there and you've got some Czech words. They weren't so bad.
Did I mention that this class was 1.5 hours long? Well it is. I don't know if you've tried to play a game called "pretend you're not real" for 1.5 hours but after 5 minutes it gets pretty difficult. I'm only good for short periods.
The other class I had today was.... Wait for it....... Drum roll? 3.5 hours long! There is no way that sitting in a classroom that is well above 75 degrees for 3.5 hours in the late afternoon is condusive to learning. It's not. I have the attention span of a gold fish and a memory to match. Sit me in a class with 4 other equally loopy friends and you've got yourself a show.
The class I'm taking is basically review. I took the class at Bradley but I got a C so I know an average amount of the material. Maybe a good thing I'm taking it again but that doesn't stop me from being bored out of my mind.
The teacher did the typical "what's your name? where are you from? why are you here?" deal but he didn't really call on us during class, which I liked. I thought about lying and saying, "My name's Kitty Kat but you can call me Tiger..." just to spice things up a bit but I didn't have enough time to think of the rest of my lie.
The rest of class crawled by until the final hour when the excitement set in. I had been in class for most of the day and had spent a great deal of time watching the sky turn black right before my eyes.
I raised my hand to answer a few questions and invented a new word on accident. "Foupon". Similar to "Coupon" which I meant to say but I was so tired and still frazzled from pronouncing Czech babble earlier in the day that my mouth said, "Foupon". I thought about ignoring it but you can't really ignore that word. Say it out loud... It's silly. It didn't help that I could hear the pee trickling down my friends' legs and their bodies shaking with laughter. So I had to make fun of myself. It's always the best option. It's always bad when you are trying not to laugh because it's not the time or the place but you honestly can't not laugh. This was how I felt. I was in the middle of answer the professor's damn question so I had to finish it! My face was red from the lack of oxygen and I almost started to wet myself all because of "foupon." What a simple word to pack such a punch.
And I thought Czech was complicated... Try English.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Jadore Fedor
Remember my best friend Fedor? I might have talked about him once or twice but I can't remember for sure.
The thought about my blog being open to the entire universe has slipt through my mind, yes. And believe it or not, I am actually filtering a lot of what happened. So stop telling me. I realize I will probably never get a job after this but keeping you guys updated is just too important to me. My joblessness will fit in with my toothlessness.
My apologies for all of the grammatical errors. I should start proof reading but I probably won't. Time is money and I have prison to bail myself out of and teeth to buy.
Last night was our first Nation 2 Nation party. Every week or month or something a different nation puts on a party for the international students. This was the welcome party so I think the theme was Czech Republic but I honestly didn't pay attention.
So guess who I run into? I'll give you zero guesses because you all don't even have to think about it. My pal Fedor. Of COURSE I pretended that we were best friends who hadn't seen each other in years. "OH HEY!!!!!!! Where have you been?! I've been trying to get a hold of you but my phone was eaten by a dolphin.. Long story!"
I'm pretty sure he was not having it... He might have even quoted a passage from my earlier entry... Something about him being a wack job? Whoopsies. Let's just add this one to the list.
Side note about this party: In Prague, coat checks are a huge deal. I don't trust them. If I were a coat checker I would, without a doubt, rummage through people's coats. I can only imagine that's what they're doing. So I find a safe place to put my coat. That safe place? Under the bar. Some might disagree with me when I say that under the bar is a great place for my coat but whatever. I take out the goods and shove my coat under the bar. I come back hours later and my coat is hanging out from underneath and is in prestine condition. Success.
When searching for a secret hiding place for my jacket with my friend Laina, we tried putting it on top of the storage closet. There was about 7 feet from the top of the storage closet to the ceiling so we figured there was a ledge. Wrong. I toss up my coat only to hear it plummet 6 feet to the ground. I had to scale the walls like spiderman and do a triple axel into this storage closet that had crap everywhere. And when I say crap, I'm pretty sure there was actual shit in there but I was pumping with adrenaline so it was a blur. I got my jacket and cradled out. Another success.
Bye Fedor!
The thought about my blog being open to the entire universe has slipt through my mind, yes. And believe it or not, I am actually filtering a lot of what happened. So stop telling me. I realize I will probably never get a job after this but keeping you guys updated is just too important to me. My joblessness will fit in with my toothlessness.
My apologies for all of the grammatical errors. I should start proof reading but I probably won't. Time is money and I have prison to bail myself out of and teeth to buy.
Last night was our first Nation 2 Nation party. Every week or month or something a different nation puts on a party for the international students. This was the welcome party so I think the theme was Czech Republic but I honestly didn't pay attention.
So guess who I run into? I'll give you zero guesses because you all don't even have to think about it. My pal Fedor. Of COURSE I pretended that we were best friends who hadn't seen each other in years. "OH HEY!!!!!!! Where have you been?! I've been trying to get a hold of you but my phone was eaten by a dolphin.. Long story!"
I'm pretty sure he was not having it... He might have even quoted a passage from my earlier entry... Something about him being a wack job? Whoopsies. Let's just add this one to the list.
Side note about this party: In Prague, coat checks are a huge deal. I don't trust them. If I were a coat checker I would, without a doubt, rummage through people's coats. I can only imagine that's what they're doing. So I find a safe place to put my coat. That safe place? Under the bar. Some might disagree with me when I say that under the bar is a great place for my coat but whatever. I take out the goods and shove my coat under the bar. I come back hours later and my coat is hanging out from underneath and is in prestine condition. Success.
When searching for a secret hiding place for my jacket with my friend Laina, we tried putting it on top of the storage closet. There was about 7 feet from the top of the storage closet to the ceiling so we figured there was a ledge. Wrong. I toss up my coat only to hear it plummet 6 feet to the ground. I had to scale the walls like spiderman and do a triple axel into this storage closet that had crap everywhere. And when I say crap, I'm pretty sure there was actual shit in there but I was pumping with adrenaline so it was a blur. I got my jacket and cradled out. Another success.
Bye Fedor!
Who's Pimsleur?
I just want to start out by saying that despite what you might think while reading this blog entries, I'm actually having a great time here in good ole Praha. It's just that horrible things keep happening to me. Normal, right? Thought so...
I also want to say that I've been asked to maybe not swear so much... But fuck that. Just kidding Mom!
First night in Prague that was not spent in Fedor's company (ps I'm pretty sure Fedor reads my blog.... Whoops! But we'll get to that later): The first night in the dorms was great. Only two of my flat mates were there but they were both totally cool and nice. Things were finally starting to look up. The flat was also just re-done so it's so nice and classy which is so unlike me (just look at my previous posts). One of my flat mates, John, went on this trip with his girlfriend so he invited Taylor, other flat mate, and myself out with them and a bunch of her friends. We went out and had a blast! Our personalities, our senses of humor, our backgrounds are all so different but they just work together. I think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to leave their friends, their family and their comforte zone to study abroad so when you get all of those people together they just click.
When my new friends and I were on the tram that faithful Thursday night, we ran into some problems. And when I say ran into, I really mean it ran into us and when i say some problems, I mean 1 problem. In Prague, you have to either buy a 1 month, 3 month or 1 use tram pass. For the 1 use tram pass you have to validate it on the tram. Well we did not validate our tram passes. OMG we're sooooo crazy. Apparently, that's not acceptable.. Who knew, right? The problem with that is that they have undercover tram police who I guess check on this.... I think the guy who gets the job of going undercover on a smelly, cold tram at 3 in the morning must've done something horribly wrong in policeman school to get that job but whatever. So he comes up to us and asks to see our tickets. We give him our un-validated tickets with our heads held high thinking that he'll look at them and let us off the hook. Not the case at all.. He then asks for our drivers licenses. Sure thing, I think, as I dig out the card! I gave it to him with so much confidence. As if he will look at my borderline amazing picture where I seem to have not even tapped on puberty's door, with hair that looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet and say, "you know what, you are SO unfortunate, here is your license. I'm sorry. Ride the tram for free whenever you want, ma'am!" That, too, did not happen. He then told us that we either had to pay 700 czk ($40) or go to the police station. Did I mention he doesn't speak English? Well he doesn't. So that was fun also. I think by police station he meant prison. Czech prison. Where you get Hepatitis Z but simply talking about Czech prison. So I have it now. Obviously I paid the $40. That was the easiest solution I could come up with. The others were: crying, playing dead, hijacking the tram, taking prisoners or offering him back massages in lieu of prison. But I'm no good at back massages so I went for cold, hard crowns. Good first night out.
Have you ever woken up in the afternoon and said to yourself, "I'm REALLY glad that happened to me!"? First of all, if you're waking up in the afternoon, then your answer is automatically no. Secondly, me either.
I chipped my tooth. There, I said it. I've decided that no matter how you chipped your tooth, it always happens in an embarrassing way but the way I did it, is embarrassinger than everyone elses.
I was carrying sweaters that I knitted for under priveleged children in Africa when it happened. Why do children in Africa need sweaters? Protein. Anyway, I was carrying this 15 sweaters when I slipt on a sheet of black ice. The sweaters flew out of my arms and into the black slush. Totally ruining them. I landed on a skateboard and slid into a pole and smacked my mouth causing my tooth to chip in half. It all happened so fast so I ended up swallowing it on accident. Let me tell you.... It.Was.Delicious.
I woke up the next morning and immediately felt for my tooth thinking/hoping/praying that it was all just a nightmare only to realize it was real. I am semi-toothless. I have now stopped telling people I'm from the USA and I am now English. There is not a 5 minute period that goes by that I don't say "...so remember when I had a tooth?", "...this would be so much more fun if I had a tooth...", "...well at least you have all of your teeth!" or I'll just simply point to where my tooth once sat.
I googled "Dentist office in Prague" and got on called "American Dental". I figured they'd probably speak English. Safe bet. I then sent them this email: "Hey girl hey. I chipped my bottom center tooth and I would like to know about how I would go about fixing it and how much it would cost. If you could get back to me asap that'd be great!"
I miss that tooth...
I also want to say that I've been asked to maybe not swear so much... But fuck that. Just kidding Mom!
First night in Prague that was not spent in Fedor's company (ps I'm pretty sure Fedor reads my blog.... Whoops! But we'll get to that later): The first night in the dorms was great. Only two of my flat mates were there but they were both totally cool and nice. Things were finally starting to look up. The flat was also just re-done so it's so nice and classy which is so unlike me (just look at my previous posts). One of my flat mates, John, went on this trip with his girlfriend so he invited Taylor, other flat mate, and myself out with them and a bunch of her friends. We went out and had a blast! Our personalities, our senses of humor, our backgrounds are all so different but they just work together. I think it takes a certain kind of person to be able to leave their friends, their family and their comforte zone to study abroad so when you get all of those people together they just click.
When my new friends and I were on the tram that faithful Thursday night, we ran into some problems. And when I say ran into, I really mean it ran into us and when i say some problems, I mean 1 problem. In Prague, you have to either buy a 1 month, 3 month or 1 use tram pass. For the 1 use tram pass you have to validate it on the tram. Well we did not validate our tram passes. OMG we're sooooo crazy. Apparently, that's not acceptable.. Who knew, right? The problem with that is that they have undercover tram police who I guess check on this.... I think the guy who gets the job of going undercover on a smelly, cold tram at 3 in the morning must've done something horribly wrong in policeman school to get that job but whatever. So he comes up to us and asks to see our tickets. We give him our un-validated tickets with our heads held high thinking that he'll look at them and let us off the hook. Not the case at all.. He then asks for our drivers licenses. Sure thing, I think, as I dig out the card! I gave it to him with so much confidence. As if he will look at my borderline amazing picture where I seem to have not even tapped on puberty's door, with hair that looks like I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet and say, "you know what, you are SO unfortunate, here is your license. I'm sorry. Ride the tram for free whenever you want, ma'am!" That, too, did not happen. He then told us that we either had to pay 700 czk ($40) or go to the police station. Did I mention he doesn't speak English? Well he doesn't. So that was fun also. I think by police station he meant prison. Czech prison. Where you get Hepatitis Z but simply talking about Czech prison. So I have it now. Obviously I paid the $40. That was the easiest solution I could come up with. The others were: crying, playing dead, hijacking the tram, taking prisoners or offering him back massages in lieu of prison. But I'm no good at back massages so I went for cold, hard crowns. Good first night out.
Have you ever woken up in the afternoon and said to yourself, "I'm REALLY glad that happened to me!"? First of all, if you're waking up in the afternoon, then your answer is automatically no. Secondly, me either.
I chipped my tooth. There, I said it. I've decided that no matter how you chipped your tooth, it always happens in an embarrassing way but the way I did it, is embarrassinger than everyone elses.
I was carrying sweaters that I knitted for under priveleged children in Africa when it happened. Why do children in Africa need sweaters? Protein. Anyway, I was carrying this 15 sweaters when I slipt on a sheet of black ice. The sweaters flew out of my arms and into the black slush. Totally ruining them. I landed on a skateboard and slid into a pole and smacked my mouth causing my tooth to chip in half. It all happened so fast so I ended up swallowing it on accident. Let me tell you.... It.Was.Delicious.
I woke up the next morning and immediately felt for my tooth thinking/hoping/praying that it was all just a nightmare only to realize it was real. I am semi-toothless. I have now stopped telling people I'm from the USA and I am now English. There is not a 5 minute period that goes by that I don't say "...so remember when I had a tooth?", "...this would be so much more fun if I had a tooth...", "...well at least you have all of your teeth!" or I'll just simply point to where my tooth once sat.
I googled "Dentist office in Prague" and got on called "American Dental". I figured they'd probably speak English. Safe bet. I then sent them this email: "Hey girl hey. I chipped my bottom center tooth and I would like to know about how I would go about fixing it and how much it would cost. If you could get back to me asap that'd be great!"
I miss that tooth...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Dobry den
First order of business: Holy shit stains I'm sorry for taking forever to update this! We did not get our internet logins until today so I've only been able to get on the net briefly.
Second order of business: Flight. So apparently once you board an airplane that is going to a foreign country English is no longer acceptable. I mean, it is but if you speak English then you're automatically a tool. So as you can imagine I was the biggest freaking tool on the airplane.
There was this foreign couple sitting one seat away from me in the middle and I'm pretty sure they just talked shit about me the entire time... I mean I'm sure they had nothing better to talk about.
I don't know if any of you have experienced this but on the airplane they have camera views that you can watch on your little tv so you can see what's going on in front of the airplane, below it and also see a map of where you are in the flight. That took up some sweet time of mine when I wasn't trying to interpret what the foreigners next to me were saying.
After landing in Copenhagen and waiting for 3 hours and then being punk'd into thinking my plane was boarding and waiting another hour we started to board for real. I showed them my ticket/passport and then walked down these stairs. I should have known that when I was walking down stairs that there would not be an airplane down there waiting but I guess I wasn't really thinking much at all. What I didn't expect you ask? A bus... I did not expect a bus. A paddle boat? Maybe.. But when I saw that bus I just thought to myself "That bus doesn't look like a plane. Am I taking a bus to Prague? Where the shit is this bus taking me?" Of course I boarded it. We took this bus out to the middle of the runway and drove up next to an airplane roughly the same size of this bus only with wings. I was basically sitting on top of the man next to me but I think he enjoyed it. On the plane to Copenhagen, the people had actually heard of the English language but on a puddle jumper to Prague, no effing way..
Third order of business: Fedor. I would just like to say that I went in to this with a mostly open mind. I really did. I was even thinking of conversation topics for Fedor and I when I was traveling for 13 hours so I am not the blame here.
First of all, Fedor tells me that he will be wearing a brown jacket with a poster saying "Yankee". He was not holding that poster though.. So I could tell by his blatant lie that he would only be trouble. I met him and he was creepy looking. He's just a creeper. There is something very dark and mysterious about him that I cannot pin point, nor would I want to. We were walking to the car and he says to me, "You are very boring." I respond with "umm... what?" he then says, "You are very boring.... tired, yes?" Sign number two that Fedor is a wack job. Maybe he got boring and tired mixed up? I don't even really care at this point because I'm so tired.
We get to the parking deck and Fedor doesn't even have money to validate his fucking ticket. After he tells me this he just chuckles and stares at me like "What we do now?" I just want to pick up my suitcase and throw it at him. To a normal person this wouldn't even be a big deal but when you're tired and crabby it was. I had Czech money though from Karina (THANKS!) so I had to pay for it. Sign number three.
We get into his car and he tells me that he has never been to the dorms before so he doesn't know how to get there. At this point, if Fedor would have told me he was going to sell me into sex slavery, I would not have been surprised.
We get to the dorms but he has no idea which dorm I'm in so we travel to 4 different dorms until we get to the right one. We get up to my room and he asks me if I would like to go to his political marketing class with him in the morning because his professor teaches at Bradley. I agreed to go because it would give me something to do but he came up with the GRAND idea to have me stay the night at his house because he would not have a way to contact me in the morning and I did not know how to get to the school on my own. This idea made my heart sink. I just wanted to sleep in a bed and without Fedor but no. His house was an hour outside of Prague in a peasant village. I got there and took a shower but the water smelled like a river filled with dead fish. I had to sleep in his bed and when he offered to change the sheets I said no because I didn't want to wait forever. I got in bed and found a bottle of lube under his pillow. I immediately regretted not having him change his sheets.
We wake up at 730 am and leave for class around 8 and get there at 9. I got like 5 hours of sleep so I was probably a ball of fun. Class was good and Fedor and I just ran some small errands and then he dropped me off at the dorms and I said PEACE OUT and haven't replied to any of his communication attempts. I did receive this text from him "Hey Sam, not bored? Your aunt mrs ickes wrote me the message, she havent heard from u. I told her u were bumped by the tram and staying in a hospital ;)" WTF?! That message is a hot mess of casual questions mixed with winky smiley faces and my hospitalization. Another reason to not talk to him ever again.
This was only the first day of Prague and the next post will show how much I have actually enjoyed it!
One more Fedor quote/conversation:
F: "you ever have long hair?"
Me: "in high school my hair was about the same length as yours but my hair doesn't look good long. It's like a muffin."
F: "like Obama?"
Me: (pause) "No...... nothing like that"
Second order of business: Flight. So apparently once you board an airplane that is going to a foreign country English is no longer acceptable. I mean, it is but if you speak English then you're automatically a tool. So as you can imagine I was the biggest freaking tool on the airplane.
There was this foreign couple sitting one seat away from me in the middle and I'm pretty sure they just talked shit about me the entire time... I mean I'm sure they had nothing better to talk about.
I don't know if any of you have experienced this but on the airplane they have camera views that you can watch on your little tv so you can see what's going on in front of the airplane, below it and also see a map of where you are in the flight. That took up some sweet time of mine when I wasn't trying to interpret what the foreigners next to me were saying.
After landing in Copenhagen and waiting for 3 hours and then being punk'd into thinking my plane was boarding and waiting another hour we started to board for real. I showed them my ticket/passport and then walked down these stairs. I should have known that when I was walking down stairs that there would not be an airplane down there waiting but I guess I wasn't really thinking much at all. What I didn't expect you ask? A bus... I did not expect a bus. A paddle boat? Maybe.. But when I saw that bus I just thought to myself "That bus doesn't look like a plane. Am I taking a bus to Prague? Where the shit is this bus taking me?" Of course I boarded it. We took this bus out to the middle of the runway and drove up next to an airplane roughly the same size of this bus only with wings. I was basically sitting on top of the man next to me but I think he enjoyed it. On the plane to Copenhagen, the people had actually heard of the English language but on a puddle jumper to Prague, no effing way..
Third order of business: Fedor. I would just like to say that I went in to this with a mostly open mind. I really did. I was even thinking of conversation topics for Fedor and I when I was traveling for 13 hours so I am not the blame here.
First of all, Fedor tells me that he will be wearing a brown jacket with a poster saying "Yankee". He was not holding that poster though.. So I could tell by his blatant lie that he would only be trouble. I met him and he was creepy looking. He's just a creeper. There is something very dark and mysterious about him that I cannot pin point, nor would I want to. We were walking to the car and he says to me, "You are very boring." I respond with "umm... what?" he then says, "You are very boring.... tired, yes?" Sign number two that Fedor is a wack job. Maybe he got boring and tired mixed up? I don't even really care at this point because I'm so tired.
We get to the parking deck and Fedor doesn't even have money to validate his fucking ticket. After he tells me this he just chuckles and stares at me like "What we do now?" I just want to pick up my suitcase and throw it at him. To a normal person this wouldn't even be a big deal but when you're tired and crabby it was. I had Czech money though from Karina (THANKS!) so I had to pay for it. Sign number three.
We get into his car and he tells me that he has never been to the dorms before so he doesn't know how to get there. At this point, if Fedor would have told me he was going to sell me into sex slavery, I would not have been surprised.
We get to the dorms but he has no idea which dorm I'm in so we travel to 4 different dorms until we get to the right one. We get up to my room and he asks me if I would like to go to his political marketing class with him in the morning because his professor teaches at Bradley. I agreed to go because it would give me something to do but he came up with the GRAND idea to have me stay the night at his house because he would not have a way to contact me in the morning and I did not know how to get to the school on my own. This idea made my heart sink. I just wanted to sleep in a bed and without Fedor but no. His house was an hour outside of Prague in a peasant village. I got there and took a shower but the water smelled like a river filled with dead fish. I had to sleep in his bed and when he offered to change the sheets I said no because I didn't want to wait forever. I got in bed and found a bottle of lube under his pillow. I immediately regretted not having him change his sheets.
We wake up at 730 am and leave for class around 8 and get there at 9. I got like 5 hours of sleep so I was probably a ball of fun. Class was good and Fedor and I just ran some small errands and then he dropped me off at the dorms and I said PEACE OUT and haven't replied to any of his communication attempts. I did receive this text from him "Hey Sam, not bored? Your aunt mrs ickes wrote me the message, she havent heard from u. I told her u were bumped by the tram and staying in a hospital ;)" WTF?! That message is a hot mess of casual questions mixed with winky smiley faces and my hospitalization. Another reason to not talk to him ever again.
This was only the first day of Prague and the next post will show how much I have actually enjoyed it!
One more Fedor quote/conversation:
F: "you ever have long hair?"
Me: "in high school my hair was about the same length as yours but my hair doesn't look good long. It's like a muffin."
F: "like Obama?"
Me: (pause) "No...... nothing like that"
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Pre-travel thoughts...
Dobry den (that's Czech for "what up, homie?" or something like that...)
If you are reading this.... It's because I've left the country and you want to know exactly what I'm up to.... Or I sent you the link and asked you politely. Either way you're in for a real treat. Although it is a treat, I would just like to warn you all (Mom, Dad, Grandma...) that this blog will probably be inappropriate and I will probably swear. I might think about censoring the other stuff too.
Anyway, I leave in 2 days. My feelings you ask? Excited.Nervous.Anxious.Queasy.Etc. I can already visualize myself getting lost in some European airport, choking back tears of frustration as I try to ask a Chinese peasant for directions to my terminal and them saying "thank you" in response to my question and then me accidentally boarding a plane to Siberia. I'm sure Siberia is great but I don't think I packed warm enough clothes...
I'm also slightly terrified that by Czech Buddy (Fedor) will not pick me up from the airport (assuming I get there). My reasoning for this is because he takes his sweet Czech time to reply to my emails. I realize that he probably has a life, unlike me, and isn't sitting by his computer all day, unlike me, so that might hinder his ability to respond to me but I'm still worried. He also picks n chooses which questions he likes to answer from my emails. Example: "Hey Fedor! Will you be able to pick me up from the airport on February 2nd at 5:30 pm?... What music do you listen to?" His response: "Hello my American friend! I like Amy Winehouse and Coldplay... See you soon!" Uh, first of all, Amy Winehouse? Really? Can we just address that situation, Fedor? The only song I know of Amy Winehouse's is "Rehab" and I'm pretty sure she hasn't had another hit since then (aside from a hit of a joint) because she's been busy in rehab.... Anyway, do you see what I mean about his responses?
Okay, enough with the negatives... I'm sure I'll get there safe and sound and Fedor will pick me up from the airport and we'll laugh and we'll laugh and be best friends forever! Or at least until I make new, cooler friends... Jk!
I am excited though... This will be an adventure for sure and I plan on being sober for most of it.
This concludes my first blog. Let me know what you think and I'll maybe take suggestions... But probably not. Na shladano (Peace out)
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