Burning bridges and taking names... Right?

Wow, it's been a while... How've you been? I know, I know. You feel ignored don't you? Well I'm sorry and I feel just horrible about it. I have a shi.... a lot to update you on. I honestly don't even know where to begin but I'll just pick something.

Fedor deleted me off of facebook. Can you believe that? Obviously I feel like he didn't give me a chance. I mean come on... I was the one who called him all the time, I was the one who searched him out at nation to nation parties and asked him to meet my friends, I was the one who invited him over to my house to spend the night and I was the one who sent him messages on facebook begging him to be my friend. Did I do something wrong? Was I too clingy? I guess I'll never know...

I should let you all know that I get deleted off of facebook all the time. It's almost sad that I know when I've been deleted but I do. I'll be creepin' on facebook when I try to creep on someone who I know I was friends with when I realize that I am unable to view their profile because we are no longer "friends"... Hmmm... Why you gotta delete our friendship like that huh? Did those months of imaginary friendship mean nothing to you? Some people are so inconsiderate!

I can only hope I see Fedor everywhere now. Oh yeah, I will, without a doubt, smother him with kindness. I might start carrying around freshly baked muffins with me just in case I run into him.

Moving on... Sort of..... Eventually..

I just got back from Berlin yesterday. I had a good time! The weather on Friday was great... Just gweat! It was sunny and 60 something degrees which is perfect weather for getting lost... Too bad we didn't really get lost.

We had made reservations at the Golden Heart Hostel or something like that... I can't really remember but it had the word "golden" in it and it was a hostel so I think that word was in it too.. We ran into a minor problem.

We went inside to check in when the lady behind the counter directed us to another hostel down the street because they were overbooked and could not hold us. Of course I had no idea what was going on because Michelle and I were straggling behind everyone like small children who needed to be leashed. When I got a vague overview of what was going on I still didn't understand so I continued to listen to Michelle's iPod with her.

We get to the other hostel and it's....... A shitbox. It's times like this when I wondered if I could catch an STD by breathing the air. My previous pleasant demeanor did a 180 and I was Pissy Mchateshislife and I made sure everyone knew it. After hiking up Mount Everest aka the 5 or 6 or 7 (I lost count) flights of steps up to the office of the "Helter Skelter Hostel" (Yeah, I remembered THAT name... It's pretty memorable) where the man behind the counter was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt with sleeve tattoos on each arm and he was smoking a cigarette laced with crack.

We, and by we I mean Ann, talked to the man and figured out that the Golden Liar Hostel owns this dump too and they send over their overbooked suckers to... Helter Skelter. Great! We paid and gave them enough information for them to have all of our identities stolen and then went out to eat lunch because our room wasn't ready yet. I assumed the 2 day old dead body had not been thrown out yet but I wasn't being fair.

They had told Ann that we would be getting an apartment since we got screwed over by our original hostel. I didn't really care. I was sitting with everyone in silence thinking about how mad I was and what was going to happen to us in that hostel. In an attempt to be positive, I shared with them the worst possible scenarios that could happen to us. 1: we get bed bugs. A couple of bites never hurt anyone that badly. 2: We catch crabs. No biggie. They have those small little combs in Europe, I'm sure of it. 3: Our identities get stolen. I'm broke anyway so the joke is on them. 4: ...... we get sold to the highest bidder. Not ideal but Liam Neeson happens to be a good friend of mine. 5: We die. Worst case scenario. I was so sure of myself that I offered to do anything anyone asked me if our apartment was magically not a shit hole. Well....

We hike up Everest again (I'm telling everyone I climbed it), got our key, walked down Everest, went outside (just like in the olden days), climbed K2 and opened the door to our apartment which opened to..... drum roll..... another door! We opened that one AND!!!! It killed me.... The nicest hostel we've stayed in so far. I'm such a baby. There were 9 beds, a full kitchen, a tv, a balcony, 2 bathrooms and nice wood floors. I learned my lesson OKAY!

I'm going to Rome on Thursday. I hope the nuns overbooked me there and I get to sleep in the Vatican. I'm sure I'd have a blast! I hope they don't find out I'm not Catholic among other things. I think we all know I am going to need to update my blog while I'm sweating my ass off staying with those nuns... God be with me.